"But it's talking to me..."

Hm, how to start this post? Let's begin by explaining how things are done here in Uganda.  First off, it's customary to go and visit people just because. For the host it is considered a great honor to have guests. When you have a guest from around town, it is a good day. When the guest is from a different town, it's very exciting. If your guest is from another part of the country, it's a big deal. From another country? People will be talking for weeks about how honored you are. Mom, Liesel, Dora and I went to Marian's house again. We over dressed on purpose, nice hair, nice earrings, to let them know this visit is important to us too. We meet Marian on the way there and she led us to her house. After we were all settled on their leopard-print sofas, they immediately asked about my ukulele, which I brought at Marian's request. She enjoys playing around on it and I'm doing my best to be encouraging but music is not her strong suit. While her older sister learned the C chord, Marian took us around Kakira to show us the best places for Mom to get groceries.

The meat stop she recommended was the same as the one we ate rollexs next to on our first trip to town. The butcher kept asking for my number. "The color of your skin means money" he said. Fifteen is an acceptable age to get married here, I've been proposed to twice already. Not to worry, I'm not saying yes anytime soon. I probably won't be returning to this stand alone though. After meat we purchased vegetables and chapati's.  Kids were following us everywhere as usual. Back at Marian's house, we see her mother frying up fish outside over the fire. The smell is almost intoxicating. This is a huge deal. Fish is not cheap and her family is not rich. We thank her graciously and go inside where I learn to cut matoke, a cross between a potato and a banana. Didn't slice off anything this time! Then it's time to eat...

Allow me to say, I knew it was coming. As soon as I knew it was fish I was mentally prepared. Maybe that was the only thing that kept me from fainting. We are truly the honoured guests, we each got a head. The head of the fish is the best part according to them. Liesel was the only one of us to not get a head because she is a small child. Instead, she received a huge part of the tail. Mom insisted she switch with one of Marian's sisters who got a smaller portion. A blank eye stared up at me from my floral porcelain bowl, surrounded by a helping of posho, greens, matoke and in a puddle of soup. I choose not to stare back and focus on the rest of my meal.

When nothing else but my rolley-poley fish head is left, I start behind the gills where I can see meat and work my way around, pulling out bones as I go. It tastes fantastic, maybe a little slimy but what are you gonna to do? Now it's just the face. Marian is next to me and says, "This too" and pulls out the jaw to reveal the inner mouth and other organs, probably the brain we deduced later. I take it like a champ and plop the whole thing into my mouth. It has good flavor as long as you don't think about what you're eating.

My Mom is eating faster then me, she gets to the face first. "Now what?" she asks. The mother gestures (she doesn't speak much English) by putting it in her mouth and sucking. There's a moment of silence as the Americans take it in. “But... but, it's talking to me. See?" and she uses her fork to animates it's mouth, "Please don't eat me." Everyone laughs at this but the inevitability remains. If we don't eat everything, it's an insult beyond compare. We watch our Mom, 9% looking for technique, 91% terror-stricken for when we must complete the task ourselves.  Face first, Mr. Fish enters her mouth where he stays there for quite some time. Mom pulls bones out as we await her verdict in stony silence. "Not bad" escapes her mostly full mouth. I look down at my own plate. "I wouldn't lie to you," Mom says, "just eat it". I pick it up then drop it again because my body realized what it was doing and refused. I try again, look at the little guy then take the plunge.

To whomever may find themselves in this great honor, it's really not that bad. It tastes like fish. If you suck with enough velocity, everything goes down rather smoothly as long as you're conscious of the bones. I take it out and was shocked at how much I had actually eaten. I put it back in to finish it off, less daunted now. Then.... it happens.  I taste a pea. Well, it doesn't taste like a pea, it just feels like one. I didn't know there were peas. Mom doesn't really like peas, I wonder why she didn't say anything. Maybe she just ate it too quickly. It's harder than a pea, kinda dense inside. Probably it wasn't cooked long enough. How did they even get peas into this thing anyway?

All of this crossed my mind in a matter of seconds. I'm sure you've figured it out, but it took me a minute. "Don't make a face.", I instructed myself... and really once I got over it I was kind of proud.  It's not everyday that one eats eyeballs. It is a real victory for me because I just don't do gross.  And especially body parts.  Ick.  Africa is flooding my fears one at a time, first spiders, now eyeballs. Chimpanzees shouldn't be a tough one but I'd like to see how I'll get over clowns.

We thanked them most graciously again and invited them over for lunch a few weeks from now. Maybe we'll have tacos. They gave us another fish to take home for the rest of the family, another huge deal. And now Dad can be the honored one.